Breaking up with your girlfriend is usually a painful experience. Whether you initiated the breakup or your girlfriend initiated it, both situations end up wrecking you emotionally. Getting back your ex-girlfriend is not a one-step action but involves a series of steps which, if effectively implemented, will see your ex-girlfriend back.
It’s important to keep your emotions under control during this time to get the best results. It is said that challenges are defeated through the mind, not through emotions. By understanding her better, why she left, and what you need to do to get her back will play a greater role in restoring your relationship. Thus take it as a multi-step process which will eventually work in your favor.
Below are 10 tips which will help you get your girlfriend back.
1. Identify the cause of the breakup
This is the first step of mending your relationship. What caused the breakup? Did your ex-girlfriend tell you what made her move away? Or she just gave out a vague answer which could not help you get to the root problem?
If the problem is clear such as cheating problems, non-commitment, and dishonesty, then it will be easy to deal with such. But in some other cases, you may get quite a vague and general answer that will need you to think deeper to get to the root cause of the breakup. You could have just been told that? You grew apart’ or even she could have texted and said that she wanted to, have some space’.
These instances will make you introspect and see how you could have contributed towards the breakup. Understand why girls feel attracted to men could actually solve these problems. The secret is that most girls are genetically predisposed to look for a man who has higher mating value than they have. Thus find things which increase your mating value before her and which will make her see a new spark in you.
2. Never degrade or call her names
There is always a temptation to revenge for the breakup and degrade your girlfriend by sending insults to her or even taking the insults to her apartment. This doesn’t help. It only serves to deteriorate the situation. You also diminish your chances of getting a new girlfriend in case your friends get to know of your inability to control your emotions. You will always get that rush of anger and the urge to degrade her. But be wise and keep your emotions under control. It will help you in restoring your relationship.
3. Establish a no-contact period
A no-contact period is the period when you don’t make any contact with your ex-girlfriend. This period is crucial in helping you to heal and get your emotions under control. Ensure that you don’t send messages during this time, never try to make a call, and in case it originates from your Ex, just politely explain that you need some time on your own to put things in order.
Use this period to look keenly into the importance of your relationship and train yourself to go on with life without your girlfriend. Find emotionally uplifting activities and immerse yourself in these activities. Use this period to do a thorough audit of your relationship and regain your confidence as a person. Recognize that no one is perfect. Appreciate that you personally control your happiness and you can still work out a way of regaining your former life of bliss.
4. Take time and improve yourself
Use the separation period wisely. Take actions which will improve the various aspects of your life. Register for a gym and become a regular member, find self-improvement books and read them to improve yourself, and attend seminars which can enhance your overall life. If you have friends, take some break and go for an adventure or even immerse yourself in your favorite hobby. The end result will be improved confidence, enhanced relationship skills, and a stable temperament.
5. Use social media platforms wisely
Social media platforms have great potential to better your situation or even worsen it. Don’t go on a spree to post your breakup disappointments online. Don’t even let anyone online know about the current situation which you are passing through. It’s not prudent to vent your anger through social media platforms. It will only serve to distance you from your friends, as no one wants to be associated with helpless and emotionally unstable individuals.
But there is a better way of using social media platforms to increase the chances of getting your girlfriend back. Post photos where you are having a great time with friends. Share your adventures and getaways and generally project an image of a happy person. You will be surprised how this can serve to get your girlfriend back. She will realize that you can still have a great life without her and perhaps see her mistake and initiate the reconciliation process.
6. Don’t show desperation
There is an increased tendency when your girlfriend leaves you to make every effort to get her back. Some guys send long text messages begging their girlfriend to return, try to impress their ex-girlfriend with unrealistic promises and do all what they can to have her back. But this is counterintuitive.
Such efforts work to push the girlfriend further and reduce your value as a man. This guide provides some great information on how to get your ex-girlfriend back and avoid those pitfalls which you might make when your girlfriend decides to leave you. You will be surprised to find that what men consider as the best way of getting back their ex-girlfriend actually works against them.
7. Once she initiates the contact, don’t talk about the break up first
Don’t be quick to discuss the breakup when you start talking with your ex-girlfriend. Instead, focus on other areas of life. Get to know how she is doing and let her know what you are up to. It’s also advisable to maintain the texting pattern of your ex-girlfriend.
If she takes a long time to text back, just take the same or even longer time before texting back. Don’t give too many details about your current activities if she doesn’t give the same depth of detail. By doing this, you will be sending a strong signal that you are not desperate and that she is not the only focus in your life.
8. Ask her out
Once you can normally converse and your emotions are in control, it’s time to take things further. Ask her for a date. Since you have been talking and you have taken the steps mentioned above, she will likely accept your suggestion. While in the date, ensure that you don’t show any signs of desperation. Be confident, crack jokes, and strike a natural conversation with her.
9. Tell her how you spend your time
Once there are signs that things are getting back to the former state and she is regaining interest, let her know how you spend your time. Recount the wonderful moments you had over the weekend, your getaways to exotic places, and how you are enjoying yourself each and every moment. But don’t overdo it.
By letting her know that you are fully occupied and you are leading a fulfilling life, you will increase your value before her. She will realize that she is not the only person who makes you happy. You will likely see signs which will strongly suggest that she wants to mend her relationship with you.
10. When things are back to normal, suggest a new relationship
After working out the above steps and there is every indication that things are back to normal, ask for a new relationship. She will be more than willing to start a new relationship with you. You may even be surprised to find her initiating a new relationship before you do.
Getting back your ex-girlfriend after a breakup can be a challenging process. But there is no point in giving up that easily. There is always a second chance in life. By following the right strategies and the tips highlighted above, you will increase your likelihood of getting your ex-girlfriend back.