The Colombian Diaries, Part 1: Copious Amounts of Cocaine, Near Orgies and More
It was my first night out in Colombia. I’d been on three Tinder dates and gotten two bangs in my first two days in the country, but I hadn’t tested the nightlife yet. However, I wasn’t too concerned. Nightlife in Colombia is famous for being difficult to pull chicks from. People apparently go out in big groups and it’s hard to make too many approaches. So I approached the night with an air of caution. No expectations. Just going out to have a good time with a few members of the Roosh V Forum, one with a near-legendary reputation. I figured the worst that could happen is we shoot the shit and get wasted.
The Beginning of the Colombian Diaries
We met up at my friends place and the three of us instantly started downing drinks. Tales of travels instantly became the topic of the pregame and soon phones were brought out and photos shared. Drinks and nudes go hand in hand when chilling with fellow traveling players, along with a number of laughs.
Eventually, a copious amount cocaine was dispersed on the countertop and cut into lines. I watched on as my friends took line after line. This was going to be a fun night. High as fuck and/or drunk – we stumbled into a taxi and made our way to the nightlife district. Plans had not been made. We were going with the flow.
We finally made it to the club district and picked a spot that looked good. However, the spot we hit wasn’t as good as we had hoped. It was just average. Beers were downed and approaches were made. Numbers were grabbed, but nothing was sticking. The girls didn’t want to look like hoes in front of their friends by going home with a gringo.
Game Changing Moves
My friend had his cell phone loaded with data and a grip of numbers from Colombian Cupid. We had nearly burnt the club and decided to chill for a minute. He wrote a few of his girls, while our other friend and I just chilled. A few minutes later and two girls were on the way to the club to meet us. I guess three gringos at the club on a Friday night was an enticing offer for girls on Colombian Cupid.
*Definitely not this hot ;(
The girls showed up fifteen minutes later. They certainly weren’t stunners, but they didn’t look like someone had hit them in the face with shovels, either. So it was a win. Our group of five started dancing and instantly one of the girls was on me and the other girl was all over my friend who invited them. Dancing commenced for about 15 minutes before both of us were making out with our girls. They were giving us doe eyes and it was time to bounce. I looked over at my friend and yelled his way:
“Yooo! Let’s bounce them NOW.”
He looked down at his chick and she was staring at him with some “fuck me” eyes. Then he turned back to me:
“Yeah, let’s get a taxi and get the fuck out of here.”
We grabbed the girls’ arms and pulled them out of the club rapidly. Words were not exchanged, but there wasn’t any resistance either. Outside the club, we hailed the closest taxi and threw the girls inside. I asked my friend if it’s ok to get inside a taxi on the street in Colombia and he said it was fine. So we hopped in and headed back to his place.
I had no idea what our plan was. I figured we were going to drop him and his chick off at his place, and then I would go to my spot with my girl. That wasn’t ever the plan. We got to my friend’s place and he hopped out with both the girls. I decided to just go along with the ride.
Not an Orgy
Inside, we poured some whisky with the chicks and things began escalating quickly. Within five minutes of being inside his small studio apartment, we were back to making out with the girls. Fast-forward five more minutes and clothes were flying off. My boy took his girl to the bathroom and my girl started to suck my cock on the bed. I was wasted and wanted to fuck, but she said she couldn’t. So I decided to start face fucking her hard as I could. After about a minute of face fucking, she came around to the idea of sex. I don’t think her throat could handle much more 😉
She got on top of me and began riding my cock like a good little Colombian girl should. After 3-4 minutes on top, we heard the door from the bathroom open. My friend and his chick ran out of the bathroom naked. He proceeded to bend his girl over the kitchen countertop and go to town on her.
As this began happening, my girl threw the blanket over us – my cock still deep inside her pussy. She was getting nervous. So I picked her up and took her to the bathroom. Shutting the door – I bent her over the sink and proceeded to rabbit fuck her for a while. Her pussy began to get sore and I was too drunk to cum. So we left the bathroom and went back out to the studio. My friend was still fucking his chick, so my girl got down on her knees and started blowing me again.
The Attempted Orgy
After a bit, my friend and I attempted to switch girls. All four of us ass naked in his studio – we tried going after the other girl. I started making out with the girl he had fucked and grabbing her fat ass. He had mine pinned in a corner and was kissing her neck. Yet, the girls were not up for the orgy. He couldn’t get mine to make out and I couldn’t get his to suck my dick.
Two minutes of attempted orgy and the girls said they needed to get home. It was almost four in the morning and all I wanted was sleep. An Easy Taxi was called and the chicks left. We laughed over a quick whisky before I walked home as the sun came up. A good first night out in Colombia 😉
If you enjoyed this tale of debauchery from the Colombian diaries, then I highly suggest you check out the “Bang Black Friday” that I put together with a couple of traveling players. Click here to learn more.
The Colombian Diaries, Part 2: Gordo Gringos, Weird Women, and a Squirter
I had been in Colombia for over a month and couldn’t get enough of the country. The women, the culture, the dancing, the cheap prices, and mainly – the women. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to leave. Something about those thick Latina asses had a nigga’ hooked, and I’m not talking on phonics.
It was around 5:00 on a Friday night and I decided to meet up with a girl from Tinder I had met once before; she sucked me off twice and licked my ass after a few beers. This time she was with a friend. So I brought El Conquistador and we hit the bar. We each had a few beers and the topic of food came up. Colombians are proud people and they truly want you to try as much of their cuisine as possible. When the girls heard that we hadn’t been testing the Colombian food waters, they decided to change that. The tab was immediately paid and all four of us strolled off to the market.
Inside the girls began making their rounds as we just stood around looking like dumb gringos, a common occurrence. Eventually, they strolled up to the cashier’s register with a cart full of food and paid $70,000 pesos. They didn’t even ask for a cent from us. As we made our way outside to hail a cab, we learned that El’s girl had to leave – but he wasn’t too upset because he’s fat.
Once back inside the apartment, my girl (with mid-sized fake cannons) proceeded straight to the kitchen and got to work. What a good little girl. I chilled with El in the living room, but periodically checked on her. She didn’t approve of this much and was hoping for a little more attention.
On one of my trips to check on the progress of my dinner, she began to kiss me and next thing you know I was finger banging her while she attempted to make some arepas. Unable to control herself, she got on her knees and began unzipping my pants. As the food began to burn, she started sucking my hard cock right in front of our kitchen window. I slowly sat on the kitchen counter and she continued to work my dick, but then another roommate of mine walked into the kitchen to check his laundry. Awkward…
She blushed and was incredibly embarrassed, but once he scattered out – she got back down to work. Before I knew it, she had swallowed my load and was back to preparing dinner. I didn’t go back into the kitchen again. Post-orgasm, a nigga just wanted some food. And damn was the food good. She brought plates for my roommates, her, and I filled to the brim with arepas, chicken, chorizo, cheese, and a homemade salsa. It was incredible – to date, it still ranks as my favorite meal in Colombia, and that’s not even taking the blowjob into account.
I hastily helped her clean the kitchen and then I ushered her straight to the room. I was planning to reward her for such a delicious meal with a good dicking. Yet, as I’ve quickly come to realize – things never go as planned in Colombia.
Clothes flew off immediately as I shut the door. She was back on her knees sucking my dick within a few minutes. I was on top of her, balls deep a few minutes after that. After around 30 seconds of sex something weird happened. She began yelling stop and throwing me off her. I obliged and rolled off to the side.
“What? What’s the problem?!” I asked.
She gave me a blank stare and said, “I need to go now. I just can’t.”
I was beyond confused, but nodded in agreement. We both quickly got dressed and I called her a taxi. We didn’t talk much as I walked her out to the taxi. It was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever had happen with girls.
*I later found out she had just broken up with her boyfriend and first lover a week before we first met. She wanted to have sex, but she still wasn’t over the man who took her virginity.
It was only around 9:00 when the weird chick left my crib, so I hastily grabbed my phone, sat in the living room, and started spamming. I had something set up for 9:30 with a girl from Colombian Cupid, but she immediately showed signs of being a flake. I started to look for something else, but nothing was coming up. I was almost going to call it a night when I got a text from my girl who was supposed to meet at 9:30. She decided to come out around 10:30. It was nearly 10:15 already. I threw on my clothes and rushed to meet her at the bar. I didn’t even have time to wipe the smell of pussy off my dick in the shower.
Luckily, that wouldn’t matter. She was already at the bar when I arrived and she was sexy as fuck. She was 5’9” without heels and wearing tight Colombiana jeans and a tube top. Her skin was the color of Hilary Banks (maybe a shade darker). She didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on her body – sans her DD tits and giggly Columbiana ass.
I smiled as we greets. Time to bring the “A” game. The conversation in full-on retard Spanish was flowing, but she seemed a bit odd to me. I couldn’t really put a finger on it, but I wasn’t willing to questions things. I just kept moving things forward. My progress continued when the bar closed shortly after we finished our first drink. I used the opportunity to pitch a night of wine and reggaeton in my room, of which she happily accepted.
We quickly walked back to my place. Wine was poured and she was clearly comfortable sitting on my bed. Things were looking up. I didn’t waste time making my move. As we danced to reggaeton, I grabbed her by the neck and slammed her back into the wall before moving in for the kiss.
She quickly became excited. Within five minutes, she was naked on top of me. Then she stopped and looked at me:
“You want sex me?” she said in beyond broken English.
I looked up at her and laughed. Did she not feel that rock hard, banana-shaped item in my pants?
“Claro amor! No soy marica.” I said as I laughed.
She laughed for a second and then began thinking. In what seemed like an eternity (more like five seconds), she finally made up her mind. She immediately unzipped my pants and began sucking my cock. We were fucking within minutes. She looked amazing naked and we fucked for hours on end.
Sex tapes were made and she squirted all over my bed three times. Shortly after we finished, she got dressed and called a taxi. As she went home to her mother and child, I laid down in my cum-soaked sheets and meditated on how much I enjoy the wonderful country known as Colombia 😉
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The Colombian Diaries, Part 3: The Whore of Bogota
If you haven’t read the first two installments of the Colombian diaries, you can catch up on part 1 here and part 2 here. Before we begin this tale, I will say that the girl involved (the whore of Bogota) is also an amazing girl and super nice. She just has a really, really high sex drive.
The Whore of Bogota
It was a slow Saturday night and I wasn’t much in the mood to go spit game. I had sex with two girls the night before, so I truly just wanted to chill. Yet, I was in Colombia – the land of sexy women thirsty to make sweet love to a gringo…a gringo just like me 😉
My friend, El Conquistador, had a date lined up with a cute girl with giant tits from Colombian Cupid. The big-tittied girl decided she wanted to bring a friend (a common occurrence on weekend dates in Colombia). So El was begging me to roll out of my Netflix watching coma and go out with him. After a bit of persuasion, I relented and threw on some jeans. Twenty minutes later the chicks show up. Mine got out of the car and she was nice. Thick as hell – in a good way – her face wasn’t hideous either. The four of us gathered and exchanged pleasantries. Then we walked a few blocks to an underground club.
As we rolled in, we began to notice how odd this club was. Underground and decorated in an incredibly odd fashion – we didn’t know exactly what we were getting into, but we went with it. Two floors down and the club was packed to the brim with people singing karaoke and dancing champeta. Our girls, apparently from the Colombian coast (Costenas) loved it. We grabbed a table and some drinks, and then we started dancing the night away. That’s when I realized who this girl was…
Things get Interesting
El Conquistador had asked me if I knew or banged the chick at the start of the night. He claimed his girl asked my chick, “He doesn’t remember you, does he?” about five minutes into the night. I couldn’t put a finger on it, but she did look familiar. It finally clicked after about an hour. This was the girl my friend banged in the near orgy we had a few weeks back.
I instantly teared up in laughter. Once I collected myself, I called El over and told him the situation. He started to crack up too. Sharing is caring and I had no qualms about banging this chick after my buddy had his way with her. So I didn’t let on to the girl that I knew and the night went on smoothly. Two hours in and the four of us were wasted and sweaty. Apparently ventilation is an issue for clubs underground in Colombia. So I snuck off to pay the bill before we attempted to bounce the chicks.
A quick suggestion to drink some aguardiente at our house was all that was needed and we got the girls in a cab to our place (a one minute taxi away). Inside, there was more drinking and dancing. Make outs began to take place, but the girls wouldn’t separate and fuck. My girl had already fucked my friend, but wouldn’t put out. It was odd – especially because she was into me. I finally asked why and she claimed she just had surgery. Due to the surgery, she couldn’t. She also said she was on her period. I was upset and went up to my room. I wasn’t about to stay up all night for this chick.
I laid in bed and started writing on my phone. I left El Conquistador in the living room with the girls. He was equally annoyed with his chick. Then I heard a knock on my door. My thick chick walked in and instantly began unbuttoning my pants. Apparently, she missed the attention.
She began sucking my cock like only a vet in the game could. It was amazing and then we heard steps up the stairs. She got up to lock the door – I assumed. However, she just let El and his girl walk into my room. I was laying on my bed ass naked with my dick hard. El and his girl bust out laughing at the site of my naked ass on the bed and quickly left the room. My girl came back and finished me off – after we laughed at the situation.
Yet, the night was not over yet. To be continued…
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The Colombian Diaries, Part 4: When In Rome
I had just finished getting sucked off. It was nearly three in the morning and being gringo – I was tired as could be. I got ready for bed, turned off the lights, and laid down. I grabbed my phone to see what I’d missed on What’sApp while on my date. And I saw it…
A booty text from a girl I’d “met” on Instagram only a few days prior. It had come in only a few minutes before I’d gotten into bed and I quickly replied. The check marks turned blue in less than thirty seconds and she began writing me back. It was on. For me – booty calls are not common in Colombia, especially with a girl I’d hadn’t even met in person.
The Colombian women can be quite slutty, but they are feminine girls. They like to be taken out and shown off. They don’t want like to come over for a beer or three on a weekend night and chill. They want to go dancing. If you’re not taking her out, then someone else is. Often times this someone else is her “Colombian-chode-beta-orbiter-family-friend” who buys her drinks all night. Since he buys her drinks, she can’t disrespect him and leave at four in the morning to go bang some random gringo. Usually 😉
On this evening (or morning, depending on how you look at it), I had a girl primed and ready to meet me. She wrote back saying she was in my neighborhood and wanted to see me. I told her to come over immediately. She laughed at me and said she could be at my place in 15 minutes. I said ok and sent her the address.
While it seemed simple, you have to remember that this is Colombia. Showing up close to on time is a finicky situation in the country. Even Colombian dudes who say they want to grab drinks with you and hit on chicks will flake on you five minutes before they say they would arrive. With this in mind, I told her to write me when she was in the taxi. She agreed and I set my timer. It was nearly 3:30 in the morning at this point. I told myself I’d stay up until four. If I hadn’t heard from her by four, I’d turn my phone on silent mode and go to sleep. Staying up 30 minutes for a guaranteed bang (if she shows) seemed like a fair deal.
And it was. At 3:55 I got a text from her saying she was outside my apartment. I looked down and there was a taxi waiting. I threw on some basketball shorts, a wife beater, and my flip-flops to head downstairs. The doorman already had the door opened and I walked over to the taxi. I handed her $8,000 pesos and she hopped out of the cab. We greeted and immediately made our way inside. She wasn’t a dime piece, but she was sexy as hell. A petite girl with a stunning smile, braces, perky tits, and a thick ass. Her skin was the perfect complexion for me – caramel brown and silky smooth. As we made our way inside my place, she couldn’t stop giggling.
Clearly tipsy – she jumped my bones when we got into the living room. We began passionately making out before I dragged her up to my room. Upon entering, I shut my door and instantly she began stripping her clothes off. There wasn’t going to be any resistance with this one. I quickly followed suit and flopped my dick right in front of her face, as she sat naked on the edge of my bed. She giggled again and began going to work. Even with those braces – she knew how to suck a cock. Hell – nearly every Colombian woman I’ve been with knows how to give a decent blowjob.
As I watched her, my desire to ravish her petite little body kept increasing. I grabbed her hair and threw her back on the bed. More giggling. Then I kissed her and started to finger her tight pussy. She began moaning and then looked up at me in the sweetest manner and said:
I laughed, “Claro, mi amor.”
And reached into my bed stand to grab one of the best condoms of all time. She snatched the condom out of my hand and helped me put it on. Then we fucked like animals for half an hour. The sex was fucking fantastic. The combination of her being tipsy and ovulating (pure speculation), while I had already had a girl over before her, but didn’t get to fuck – made us both horny as hell. It didn’t hurt that her petite frame fulfilled all my dominance fantasies. To top it off, she had those sexy thong and breast tan lines Latinas often have (from a trip to Cartagena and the beach a week prior).
Post-coital – she snuggled up to me like she loved me and said a few sweet-nothings into my ear about the sex. Then she pasted out. It was incredibly cute and I fell asleep only a few minutes after. She woke up in the morning, only four hours later, to calls from her mother about her whereabouts. I laughed as I listened to her getting scolded. She giggled again as she got off the phone and said she had to go. I laughed and walked her out once she was dressed.
While I never did see her again, I’ll never forget that incredibly sweet girl who showed up at my apartment at four in the morning after I creeped her on Instagram.
If you enjoyed The Colombian Diaries, then don’t forget to check out my book, The Tinder Template and make some tales of your own.
The Colombian Diaries, Part 5: Unfinished Business & the Whore of Bogota
The “Whore of Bogota” wasn’t really a whore. She was actually a nice lady. She just had the sex drive of seven gringas combined and a penchant for lusting after handsome gringos. You really couldn’t blame the girl for her numerous sexual dalliances with men from the West. And I didn’t hold it against her. Nor did I hold it against her that her face kind of looked like it got hit with a shovel. Her ass was like a blessing from god and her tits were big and firm, not big and floppy. Suffice to say – I knew she’d look good naked.
So I was determined to get her back over after she blew me. I wanted to make sweet sex to that fat ass all night long. We texted throughout the week and made plans to meet one Friday evening. I confirmed she was healthy in every way possible (period, surgery, etc.). She promised she was 100% and ready. In typical Colombiana fashion, she messaged me an hour before our date and said she’d be thirty minutes late. This means she would be an hour late, and I couldn’t have been happier. I had a regular scheduled to come around two hours before she did. This would give me more time with my regular.
Thirty minutes before out date, she messaged me asking for taxi money. I complied. For $4 USD – I was having a new girl come over, drink a cheap bottle of wine, and fuck all night. I couldn’t complain. She showed up dress to the nines in a mini-skirt, high heels, and skimpy blouse. It was sexy as fuck – like she was planning on going to the club after we fuck. Greetings were made and we quickly made our way to my bedroom for wine. One bottle turned into two and within the hour, we were both wasted.
As she took her last sip of wine, she slowly set her glass down and reached for my belt. With red wine still in her mouth, she slowly took my pants off and began sucking my dick. I laid back and watched her work. After blowing me for a bit, she began seductively undressing herself. I had enough teasing. Once she was naked, I stood up and threw her thick body on the bed. We were fucking within seconds. And the sex was amazing. A girl with a high sex drive like she had knows exactly how to move her thick ass. She knows how to arch her back in doggy and how to arch her back as she rides you.
We fucked three times that night. Then we never wrote or spoke to each other again. The sex was fantastic, but she plays a similar game I do – “pumping and dumping” gringos on the Colombian cock carousel. We both knew it was a one-time thing, and that’s one of the reasons the sex was so good.
Guys often hate on girls who hook up with a lot of dudes or have a near obsession with sex. However, these type of women have their place and can be a ton of fun (during some periods of a man’s life). During my travels this year, I’ve begun to enjoy women for who they are. I take what they can provide me and enjoy it fully – while not worrying about her shortcomings.
If you enjoy “The Colombian Diaries” then don’t forget to check out my book, The Tinder Template.
The Colombian Diaries, Part 6: Navigating the North Coast
I had finally made it the Caribbean coast of Colombia and I couldn’t have been happier. Bogota and Medellin are amazing cities – don’t get me wrong. I need some more sun and sand in my life.
Optimism filled my body as the scorching sun began to burn my pasty white skin while walking to the gym. I could feel my testosterone rising as I soaked up the rays. A solid gym session combined with staring at numerous thick asses sent my testosterone shooting even higher.
First 24 Failure
I was horny and I had two dates lined up for later in that evening. I’d gotten laid within 24 hours of touching down nearly everywhere I’d been. I planned to do the same while on the north coast. Fate had other plans and they didn’t involve my erection.
My first date of the evening promptly flaked. We’d schedule the day before and been in contact early in the morning, but she went radio silent. I wasn’t too concerned – even with my hormones raging. It’s Colombia. If one flake bothers you, then you’re probably not in the right country. Plus, my favorite girl of my pipeline was scheduled later that evening.
Fast forward three hours and my favorite pipeline girl shows up. She’s pretty fucking sexy and our chemistry is amazing from the start. We’d been voice messaging for a couple weeks and had already built a connection. Two hours of talking and flirting went by and before I knew it we were being kicked out of the bar.
I thanked the “game gods” and quickly suggested a glass of wine at my place. I was swiftly shot down. I pushed a bit, but she knew what she was doing and kept letting me down easy with solid excuses. I finally relented as I did want to see her again and asked for a ride back to my place. She agreed.
As she dropped me off, I went in for the kiss and was quickly rejected. I was baffled. I hadn’t been rejected for a kiss in ages, especially not in Colombia. I got out the car and a sense of confusion filled my mind. I was supposed to be good at this and this girl had me all confused. Hell, the girls on the coast were supposed to be easy, but I couldn’t even make sweet love to one girl on my first day in a new city. I lugged myself upstairs and went to sleep feeling dejected and horny.
2 for 1 on Day Two
I didn’t get a bang within 24 hours of landing in a new city, but I was determined to get my nut off soon. My testosterone was through the roof and it didn’t help that I had to listen to Kyle fuck all evening. Another gym session staring at big booties was crushed and the day was young.
I got on my phone and began working two girls I’d been talking to. I scheduled one for five in the evening and another for nine. My girl at five wasn’t the hottest, but she was willing to come straight to the crib. My girl at nine was sexy as fuck, but wasn’t willing to come straight to the crib. Things were up in the air to say the least, especially with Colombian flake levels thrown into the mix.
Around four, I got a message from my girl at five saying she would be at my place at an hour late. I frowned, but this is Colombia. At least she had the heart to spell out her latin time adjustment for me. She ended up showing up right on her estimated time of six in the evening.
We made our way to my room quickly with a bottle of wine. Reggaeton music was played and wine was downed rapidly. She was drinking fast because she was a bit nervous. Random gringo on a random weeknight in a random apartment. I understood where she was coming from. I was drinking fast because she was a six and I wouldn’t be into the sex unless I was a bit tipsy.
As the last sip of wine was down and the bottle finished, I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. We began dancing reggaeton before I shoved her hips into the wall and kissed her. Within two minutes, she had made her way to the floor and was blowing me.
The sex was decent and she was loud. Her little body had me feeling like Goliath with each stroke. After round one, I promptly kicked her out and she wasn’t even offended. She knew the drill and left quickly – only asking for the bit of taxi money I had promised her.
With my initial nut out of the way, I felt better and the day wasn’t over yet. It was nearly eight and I had another date at nine. I grabbed my phone and quickly scribbled some Spanish to my next date. Then I went to cook some dinner with the fellas.
Twenty minutes later, I checked my phone and hadn’t heard anything back from her. I could see the writing on the wall – another Colombian flake. I hopped in the shower anyway. I needed to clean the sex juices off me. When I came back – she had actually replied.
I was surprised but eager. This chick was fucking sexy. Creamy brown skin. Thin, Thick ass. Big natural boobs. A pretty face. I really wanted her. We chatted briefly and she said she could make it in an hour. I agreed and got ready. The thought of another 2 for 1 danced in my head as I brushed my teeth. Thirty minutes later and she said she was on the way. I skipped off to the bar with a smirk on my face.
I strolled into the bar to find her sitting in quite an innocent manner, but as we greeted I instantly felt something move in my pants. This chick had a look that drove me wild. And the way her big brown eyes looked up at me as we greeted – I knew she felt something similar.
We began chatting and it turns out she didn’t drink. This didn’t sound good, but we ordered a couple juices from the bar and kept talking. I wasn’t going to get drunk while she was sober. That’s never worked well in the past. Plus, she did seem to be into me.
As we drank our juices, I ran my normal date game and escalated just like I would have if she was drinking. My hands continually ran all over her body and she had no issues with it – even grabbing my bicep a few times. My hopes began to rise. Maybe she didn’t need to drink to express her sexuality quickly.
Luckily, I was about to find out. Right on time, the bar closed again. I suggested heading back to my place to listen to some music and she eagerly accepted. My spirits along with something else began to rise.
First Date Anal
A brief walk back to my place and we were on my mattress. Her body language had cooled off just a bit and I gave her a few minutes to relax and get comfortable. The music played and we talked. She started to loosen up and I knew it was time to make some moves.
I grabbed her hand as I stood up and pulled her to me. She looked startled, but we began dancing. I took things slowly. I didn’t want to scare this cat. She quickly relaxed again and began dancing with me in a sensual manner after two songs. I went in for the kiss and she moaned as we began making out. Seems somebody was horny.
I took that as my cue and slammed her back against the wall. She moaned harder this time and began passionately kissing me. I grabbed her ass and hips. She had near perfect curves and my engorged manhood pressed against her body. My hands made their way to her tits and she brushed me away. I thought she may be putting up some resistance, but she just wanted to take her clothes off. She flung her shirt off and unclasped her bra. I stared at her giant, near perfect natural tits. This was going to be fun.
She sat down on the bed and flung her jeans off. Then stood back up and slowly removed her thong while staring at me. I stared at her as my dick practically burst through my pants. Then I quickly got ass naked as well. She had me hornier than I’d been in ages.
We fucked all night long, and in every way imaginable. She never asked for a condom. Her body was near perfect in every which way and her pussy was tight. And when her pussy started to get sore during round three – I fucked her in the ass. First date anal is always a good thing.
Colombia is an amazing country, and the women are incredibly friendly. This night on the north coast of Colombia was one of my favorites during my time spent in the country. If you’re enjoying “The Colombian Diaries” – I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
The Colombian Diaries, Part 7: Failure on the Coast
I had just finished the gym and strolled over to the mall to get some food with my friends. After eating, we walked over to the elevator and waited. Legs sore from squats -we couldn’t be bothered by stairs. I turned my head to see a stunning Colombian girl press the button for the elevator next to us. She was about a thick as you could get while still being rail thin. I’d describe her as, “elegantly thick” and I stared at her for a second as she typed on her phone.
Then my mouth opened. It wasn’t pretty, but it was something. “Que es eso?” I muttered in an attempt to speak Spanish without really thinking about it. She had a large bag in her hand filled with some bedding. She looked up at me and gave me the head to toe look. Then she tried to explain in Spanish for simpletons. I gathered she had just gotten a new bed and needing new bedding, but since she was a rich Colombian girl she had to get a bunch of random shit to go with it, too.
Then her elevator door opened. I tried to finagle my way into hers, but a family with four kids rushed in, and she was already inside. No dice, nigga. No dice. I figured I’d never see her again and chalked it to the game. You can’t win them all, but she was fucking sexy. I was happy my mouth just opened when I saw her. It’s a numbers game and as long as you’re continually shooting – you’ll eventually score.
Is It Fate?
A few nights later and my friends and I roll out to a few clubs. Bottle are bought. Intoxication is a given. Moves are made, and girls are kissed. A rarity in Colombia, as one night stands are not that common. The first club was fun, but small. We worked the place for an hour or so after finishing our bottle. Numbers and makeouts were had, but nothing was cooking. So we decided to check out another spot nearby.
We roll into the new club, and it’s popping. Multiple floors. Girls all over the place. Colombians were actually mingling. Crazy, right? I walk straight into the mix of it all and start to dance a little bit. Reggaeton blares and my friend grabs some drinks for us. We scan the room and see if we can see some targets. It’s Colombia, and you have to be careful. Spam approaching can cause you a lot of problems.
I make a quick glance over my shoulder for some reason, and I see a girl staring at me. The club is dark and crowded, but she just can’t stop looking straight at me. And while I tend to think I’m pretty damn good looking – girls don’t just aggressively stare at me often. I hold eye contact and begin to realize she looks familiar. In my drunken state, I can’t seem to figure it out. I turn to my friend and tell him. He makes a quick glance back and laughs, “Dude, that’s the chick from the elevator.”
It all made sense now. I walked over to her and said asked her about the elevator. She laughed. It was her. We started talking and eventually, dancing. She is a Colombian girl, after all. The reggaeton kept blaring, and her ass kept moving in a sensual manner. For the first time in ages, I had a dance floor boner. I tried to advance the night and even attempted to kiss her in front of her friends, but she was having none of that. She was the designated driver and had to take all her friends home. And my gringo charm was no match for her sober and with her friends. I finally relented and got her number before heading out of the club with my boys.
We messaged a bit and set up a date for a Thursday night at a nice venue, but she messaged me first on Thursday morning to say she couldn’t make it. A mild form of flaking that was a rarity in Colombia. I wasn’t even upset, and she suggested a Friday night date instead. I took this as a good sign. She was giving me prime-time hours to do work. We agreed to meet Friday night at a different place.
She showed up only ten minutes late and looked stunning. High-waisted jeans and a crop top that accentuated every one of her “elegant curves” I was enamored by. She claimed she didn’t drink, but I bought a round of beers, and she sipped slowly. The conversation was about 70% Spanish and 30% English. She could speak some in English from her year in Miami, but she hated it.
We made it work and laughs were shared. She wasn’t giving me the doe eyes, but she was into me. I usually could read Colombian women like a book when out on a date, but she was smooth. I couldn’t read her like some of the other girls. After a few hours, I suggested one glass of wine at my place. She was very hesitant, but I finally convinced her. I knew I would have to go slow back at home. She was a cat that could easily be spooked.
We got back to the crib and spread out on the couch with wine. I threw on some reggaeton and let me hands roam over her things and arms as we talked. She was visibly nervous being inside my apartment and I noted the pace was going to be painstakingly slow. Then she got a phone call. Spanish was being spoken at a rate I couldn’t comprehend. Tonality was raised, and she looked a bit upset.
Finally, she hung up and said that she would have to go soon. Her sister needed to be picked up from a friend’s house, and she had taken the family car to come see me. I assumed bullshit, but she looked a bit upset. So I relented from pushing for her to stay. We finished the one glass of wine and headed out to her car. I hadn’t been able to get the kiss yet. I was not planning to make a move for thirty or so minutes when she got the phone call. And any vibe we did have was crushed by the call.
We were in the elevator, and I shoved her back against the wall slowly. I went in for the kiss, but she turned her head. I looked her in the eyes and laughed. “Por que?” I questioned. She held my gaze, but didn’t have a decent answer. I could see the wheels in her brain turning. I went in again, and she accepted. We went at it for a few seconds before the elevator door opened. I walked her to the car, and we made out once more before she left.
Put in Work
I figured the kiss was out of the way, and I’d be home clear on the next date. She liked me, although she didn’t drool over me like some of my other Colombianas did. That was just fine, though. The classic cooking date with wine should suffice in panty dropping goodness. We messaged a lot and things began to look even better. We had a cooking date set for a Thursday evening.
Then she messaged me to flake, again. I contemplated being angry, but she said a Friday night date would be better. This again! I called her out on being Colombian a bit and then dropped it. We were set to meet Friday. She was taking a taxi so she could have more than one glass of wine. I was making dinner. She promised not to flake, and I felt good about the possibility of sex.
I messaged her four hours before our date on Friday. One hour went by, and there was no reply. Two hours, three hours. I knew I had a flake on my hand. Around 45 minutes before we were set to meet, she finally got around to messaging me. And I was right – I had another flake on my hand. She claimed her brother surprised her mom and can back to the city for the weekend. Blah. Blah. Blah.
It was over. She was damn hot, but she was just stringing me along. She liked the attention, but wasn’t interested in anything sexual with me. She invited me out to the club with her friends the following night, but that’s not a wise choice in Colombia. You’ll be buying drinks, and she won’t go home to bang you with her friends watching. I stopped pursuing her as my time in the city was coming close to an end. I would have put her on the “late night club creeping” list for nights when I wasn’t getting love at the club and messaged her a few times a month, but I was leaving. I never saw her again.
What I Could Have Done Differently
I’m not sure. I could have agreed to meet her at the club instead of my place, but that’s just a pain. She was probably a third or fourth date bang, not a second date bang – and I was pushing my second date frame onto her. Ideally, she probably wanted me to spend more money courting her, and I wanted to invite her over for a $5 USD bottle of wine and some dick. Sometimes it’s not cut and dry.
I suspect she had a high-value lover (read: rich guy) already, but he wasn’t into commitment. So she was enjoying my attention while getting railed by him. While I could overanalyze this all day – the only thing you can do is chalk it to the game. Move on and read girls better. She wasn’t DTF, but she was so hot that I ignored this fact to see if I could sneak a bang in. My game isn’t bad, but I’m no miracle worker.
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