The Colombian Diaries, Part 2: Gordo Gringos, Weird Women, and a Squirter

You can read part 1 of the Colombian diaries here.

I had been in Colombia for over a month and couldn’t get enough of the country. The women, the culture, the dancing, the cheap prices, and mainly – the women. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to leave. Something about those thick Latina asses had a nigga’ hooked, and I’m not talking on phonics.

Gordo Gringos

It was around 5:00 on a Friday night and I decided to meet up with a girl from Tinder I had met once before; she sucked me off twice and licked my ass after a few beers. This time she was with a friend. So I brought El Conquistador and we hit the bar. We each had a few beers and the topic of food came up. Colombians are proud people and they truly want you to try as much of their cuisine as possible. When the girls heard that we hadn’t been testing the Colombian food waters, they decided to change that. The tab was immediately paid and all four of us strolled off to the market.

cute colombian girlsInside the girls began making their rounds as we just stood around looking like dumb gringos, a common occurrence. Eventually, they strolled up to the cashier’s register with a cart full of food and paid $70,000 pesos. They didn’t even ask for a cent from us. As we made our way outside to hail a cab, we learned that El’s girl had to leave – but he wasn’t too upset because he’s fat.

Once back inside the apartment, my girl (with mid-sized fake cannons) proceeded straight to the kitchen and got to work. What a good little girl. I chilled with El in the living room, but periodically checked on her. She didn’t approve of this much and was hoping for a little more attention.

On one of my trips to check on the progress of my dinner, she began to kiss me and next thing you know I was finger banging her while she attempted to make some arepas. Unable to control herself, she got on her knees and began unzipping my pants. As the food began to burn, she started sucking my hard cock right in front of our kitchen window. I slowly sat on the kitchen counter and she continued to work my dick, but then another roommate of mine walked into the kitchen to check his laundry. Awkward…

She blushed and was incredibly embarrassed, but once he scattered out – she got back down to work. Before I knew it, she had swallowed my load and was back to preparing dinner. I didn’t go back into the kitchen again. Post-orgasm, a nigga just wanted some food. And damn was the food good. She brought plates for my roommates, her, and I filled to the brim with arepas, chicken, chorizo, cheese, and a homemade salsa. It was incredible – to date, it still ranks as my favorite meal in Colombia, and that’s not even taking the blowjob into account.

Weird Women

I hastily helped her clean the kitchen and then I ushered her straight to the room. I was planning to reward her for such a delicious meal with a good dicking. Yet, as I’ve quickly come to realize – things never go as planned in Colombia.

Clothes flew off immediately as I shut the door. She was back on her knees sucking my dick within a few minutes. I was on top of her, balls deep a few minutes after that. After around 30 seconds of sex something weird happened. She began yelling stop and throwing me off her. I obliged and rolled off to the side.

“What? What’s the problem?!” I asked.

She gave me a blank stare and said, “I need to go now. I just can’t.”

I was beyond confused, but nodded in agreement. We both quickly got dressed and I called her a taxi. We didn’t talk much as I walked her out to the taxi. It was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever had happen with girls.

*I later found out she had just broken up with her boyfriend and first lover a week before we first met. She wanted to have sex, but she still wasn’t over the man who took her virginity.


It was only around 9:00 when the weird chick left my crib, so I hastily grabbed my phone, sat in the living room, and started spamming. I had something set up for 9:30 with a girl from Colombian Cupid, but she immediately showed signs of being a flake. I started to look for something else, but nothing was coming up. I was almost going to call it a night when I got a text from my girl who was supposed to meet at 9:30. She decided to come out around 10:30. It was nearly 10:15 already. I threw on my clothes and rushed to meet her at the bar. I didn’t even have time to wipe the smell of pussy off my dick in the shower.

stunning colombian womanLuckily, that wouldn’t matter. She was already at the bar when I arrived and she was sexy as fuck. She was 5’9” without heels and wearing tight Colombiana jeans and a tube top. Her skin was the color of Hilary Banks (maybe a shade darker). She didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on her body – sans her DD tits and giggly Columbiana ass.

I smiled as we greets. Time to bring the “A” game. The conversation in full-on retard Spanish was flowing, but she seemed a bit odd to me. I couldn’t really put a finger on it, but I wasn’t willing to questions things. I just kept moving things forward. My progress continued when the bar closed shortly after we finished our first drink. I used the opportunity to pitch a night of wine and reggaeton in my room, of which she happily accepted.

We quickly walked back to my place. Wine was poured and she was clearly comfortable sitting on my bed. Things were looking up. I didn’t waste time making my move. As we danced to reggaeton, I grabbed her by the neck and slammed her back into the wall before moving in for the kiss.

She quickly became excited. Within five minutes, she was naked on top of me. Then she stopped and looked at me:

“You want sex me?” she said in beyond broken English.

I looked up at her and laughed. Did she not feel that rock hard, banana-shaped item in my pants?

“Claro amor! No soy marica.” I said as I laughed.

She laughed for a second and then began thinking. In what seemed like an eternity (more like five seconds), she finally made up her mind. She immediately unzipped my pants and began sucking my cock. We were fucking within minutes. She looked amazing naked and we fucked for hours on end.

Sex tapes were made and she squirted all over my bed three times. Shortly after we finished, she got dressed and called a taxi. As she went home to her mother and child, I laid down in my cum-soaked sheets and meditated on how much I enjoy the wonderful country known as Colombia 😉

If you liked this story of two girls (kind of) in one night from the Colombian diaries, then I definitely recommend you check out my “Bang Black Friday” package I put together with a couple of friends. Click here to learn more.

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