*This guide on “How To Message Girls On Tinder” is an abbreviated version of a chapter in my book The Tinder Template on the same topic. If you enjoy this guide, you need to check out my book. You can grab a PDF copy here. The Kindle version is available on Amazon. I also offer Tinder consulting services here.
You might have a lot of matches, but do you know what to do with them?
Tinder can be confusing, and not knowing how to proceed after you get a match is normal. Before you learn how to message girls on Tinder, you need to understand one thing:
The key is to take advantage of the situation right away.
The first thing you need to do is turn on Tinder notifications on your phone. You’ll want to know when a girl matches with you. If possible, you want to send her a message exactly 5 minutes after you match. This shows her you are not sitting by your phone on Tinder all day, but ensures that your message reaches her while she is still active.
If you cannot get to her quickly, it’s no big deal. Simply wait until you have your 10 new matches and spam away!
Tinder Moves Fast
Always remember: Tinder moves fast. These women find a multitude of guys to chat with, so you need to make your move quickly. One way to do this is by using some great opening lines. Rather than wasting precious time thinking of the perfect opening messages to send to that smokeshow you just matched with, this section will do it for you. Here are some ideas and tips about what opening messages on Tinder should look like.
How To Message Girls On Tinder
The last thing to keep in mind is to not get too hung up on the opening message. There is no set of magical words that will get any girl to sleep with you from the first message. So just chill and enjoy the process.
Keep It Simple
It may seem obvious, but many men really do over-think something that does not need to be overthought. You could try a simple:
- Hey my name is John. It’s nice to “meet” you.
This is an ok way to open the girl on Tinder. This type of introduction gives the girl a sense of genuineness and can make her feel like the man is trying to get to know her rather than rushing into a hookup. Girls will typically continue messaging back and forth with these types of openers, so it is a good way to get a girl chatting with you.
The Humorous Opening
Men looking to meet women on Tinder can use humor when it comes to conversation openers. The best thing to do is use their interests as a way to introduce humor. For example, if the woman’s interests show she likes a sports team a lot, you could open her like this:
- Hey you seem cool, but the Heat…really?!
This is humorous and will likely get a response from the girl. The key is to not call her out on something she could get offended by, like her religion:
- Hey you seem cool, but you’re a Jew…really?!
That is not going to work. You will offend her and she will most likely not reply. Stick to subjects that are not controversial and you should be good.
Here are the absolute best Tinder opening messages:
- Hey hey
- Oh hey Lauren.
- Hey I’m new in town.
- Heyy what’s up? Dang! You are cute!
- Cute pics… What are you up to?
- You seem cool. What are you up to?
- Serious question…how good of a cook are you?
- I would sooooo steal your dog and never talk to you again…
- Oh boy… You look like trouble! (or simply: “You look like trouble!”)
- Whoaaa you’re almost as attractive as me.
- Sweet baby Jesus! Tell your parents good job 😉
- Sweet baby Jesus! You are stunning. Tell your parents good job lol.
- Clearly you have great taste lol what’s up?
- Looks like we both at least have one good thing going for us…great taste ha.
- Serious question: Would you rather give up coffee or orgasms?
- Are you one of those girls who takes forever to do her hair and makeup, or does it just look that way?
- I’m not sure how the Tinder dating protocol works so I’m assuming this is the part where I say, “So where are you from? What do you do? What’s your favorite color?”
- Are you into guys who are tall, dark, and handsome? / Are you into guys who are handsome, athletic, and charming? / Are you into guys who are intelligent, sexy, and funny?
Some of these openers are situational. Some will work better for some men, while others will work better for different men. You have to experiment to find out which opener works best for you!
Not The Only Method
While using these copy and paste openers for Tinder is the best way to save time and optimize your Tinder game, there are other ways to open girls on Tinder.
Instead of copying and pasting one of the above, you can play off a profile or use moments to open a girl.
The Cheat Sheet
For me, the best aspect of Tinder is the amount of time you can save—yet the only way you save time is by optimizing your Tinder game for efficiency. You will never be efficient at using Tinder if you type paragraphs to every girl you find attractive. Typing can be time consuming.
In order to maximize your time while using Tinder, you must create a cheat sheet. To begin, open an app on your smartphone that you can take notes in.
Instead of searching through old messages you’ve sent, searching online for an opener you want to use, or trying to remember the exact wording of an opener you want to send, you want to have any potential opening message easily accessible to you. You need to have everything in one place. Thus, when you want to message a girl you just open your cheat sheet, then copy and paste—making minor edits if necessary.
To create this cheat sheet, here is what you do:
Whenever you find an opening message that you could see yourself wanting to use in the future, copy it into your cheat sheet on your computer and/or smartphone. Start by looking through the opening messages listed above. Select 5–10 you like and that you think might work for you.
Next, when you decide to message one of your matches, quickly open up your cheat sheet and copy the message of your choice. Next, flip back to Tinder and paste the message to your match. Modify the message if necessary and then press send.
This will save you hours and hours of time by eliminating the need to type openers or search for openers.
You can also have many other types of messages saved on your cheat sheet. I typically have a multitude of gambits saved on my cheat sheet, including:
- Opening messages
- Follow-up messaging sequences
- Number close messages
- Text messages
- Restart texts
While your cheat sheet may not be as evolved as mine at the start, you will certainly save yourself a decent amount of time by simply avoiding typing out opening messages.
*This post about “How To Message Girls On Tinder” is an abbreviated version of a chapter in The Tinder Template on the exact topic. You can get the PDF copy here. The Kindle version is available on Amazon. I also offer Tinder consulting services here.