After living in Miami for a little over a month now, I figured I’d share my experiences. There seems to be some good info on the city throughout our corner of the web, but I’ve found none of it to be wholly accurate. Miami can be a great city– if you do it right.
The Miami Dilemma
I believe the conflicting data about this crazy city comes from dudes who have too high of expectations. Sure, you can meet many foreign girls in Miami, but a lot of dudes come to Miami thinking they will be banging Victoria Secret models or Colombian beauties with fake asses and flat stomachs – only to go home empty handed or bag a “7” he could have got back home. And I get this frustration…
You see some absolutely fucking beautiful women in Miami. Double takes can be commonplace. You consider doubling up on compression shorts when going to the gym because yesterday the trainer with that ass made eye contact a little too long and you got half-chubbed. Your standards start to rise simply because you’re seeing so many beautiful women around you. Yet, you’re not banging them. Or at least not all of them – like you want to.
The fact of the matter is that the hottest women in Miami are unattainable to the average guy. You might be a decent human being, lift weights, look good, be considered tall in Miami and make a reasonable income online that allows you to travel – but, Miami girls really don’t give a flying fuck about “you”. No – girls in Miami rarely care about anything other than status. While orgasms may be nice, they aren’t considered that cool here.
Exclusive yacht parties, the hottest pool parties, bottle service on South Beach, and all the other bullshit – that’s what actually matter to most of the hottest chicks in Miami. Your solid dick game can only offer them so much unless you combine it with money, status and maybe even a lil’ fame.
The Good News
It may sound like I’m bitching about Miami. That I just couldn’t cut it here. You may think I’m getting no pussy out here and that’s the reason for the negativity. And that’s fine – I’m just trying to paint an honest picture for you all. However, there is some good news about Miami…
While you aren’t touching a “9” or “10” in Miami without some money and status, it’s pretty fucking easy to bag a plethora of “7’s” and “8’s” from all over the world here.
But it gets better…
See – girls in Miami come on a different scale. Think of it as more of a sliding scale. If she’s a solid “7” in Miami, she’s probably an “8” in most other places. If she’s an “8” in Miami, you’ll probably feel a strong desire to engage in coitus with her at least a few more times before you tire of her.
So while you may not be taping the hottest ass on South Beach day in and day out – you can still come to Miami and keep your penis quite pleased by the foreign girls in Miami. It’s not as difficult of a city as some have claimed, but you’re not going to be drowning in swimsuit model pussy as you step off the plane.
Pros of Miami
A Melting Pot
Miami is a melting pot of a city. You’ll find a crazy amount of foreign girls in Miami. I believe the population is over 70% Hispanic. While the majority is Cuban, you can find girls from every single country in Latin America living in Miami. Not only do you have the Latin influence, you’ll find chicks from almost every country in Europe if you spend enough time on South Beach. And the Euro chicks are usually on holiday 😉
Sure it gets a bit hot in Miami, but for the most part I’ve found the weather to be pleasing. I’ve heard it can be too hot in the summer here, but there’s always the beach. Plus, as the weather is always somewhat hot here – chicks stay in shape because wearing a lot of clothing is frowned upon and uncomfortable.
There is still good nightlife to be found in Miami. Even if the bottle-servicing clubs on South Beach are not your steeze, you can find good nightlife all over Miami. People still go out to have a good time down here and possibly meet some one. You can pull one-night stands here with ease. Outside of South Beach, you have: Wynwood, Brickell, Coconut Grove and South Miami nightlife areas at your disposable. And there’s many more – those are just the areas I’ve checked out so far.
Incredibly Sexual Vibe
Miami has a sexual vibe to it. Everything about South Beach just screams sexuality. From the thong bikinis to the leased Maserati’s to the tourist girls – Miami is a city built on sex. Well, sex and illegal money. Women here know the deal. Actually, I’ve found women here to be all about keeping things as casual as possible. Most girls in Miami are all about a few drinks, some sex, a few orgasms and moving on. These chicks know a committed relationship could put a damper on their attention whoring, bottle ratting ways – which would be a travesty. So they avoid commitment like the plague.
Online Dating Options
Due to the consistent influx of tourists, all the foreign chicks and just the sheer number of people in Miami – you’ll have a plethora of online dating options at your fingertips here. Tinder is great here. OkCupid is good. Hell, every site will have tons of chicks on it in Miami.
Cons of Miami
Due to all the money, status and fame in Miami – most of the people just have a shitty demeanor about them. You can find great people to interact with in the city, but sometimes it feels like you have to turn over a few too many rocks to find them.
And this shitty attitude certainly comes alive when you drive around Miami. I’ve never seen worse drivers with such dickhead demeanors. God, these fuckers are horrific when put behind the wheel. I’m not sure I’ve seen a blinker used yet. Miami drivers truly believe their time is more valuable than yours or everyone else sharing the road.
South Beach is an incredible place. There are beautiful women everywhere. The water is a beautiful turquoise color. The sand is soft. Yet, I don’t enjoy spending more than a few hours on South Beach because there’s nothing to do. I’m an active guy. If I’m at the beach, I want waves. I want to be able to surf, body surf and generally just frolic around like a moron. South Beach just doesn’t offer much in terms of the water activities that I enjoy.
Miami Is Spread Out
When most people think of Miami, they just think of South Beach. However, Miami is a huge city that encompasses much more than South Beach. Personally, I find cities that are somewhat walkable to be much more fun than a city that is pretty spread out. And Miami is not walkable. Unless you live in the touristic area of South Beach, Miami is not a place one could get away with not having a car in. I’ve met girls online who live over an hour and a half away with traffic, yet they live in Miami just like I do.
It’s tough to use layering to add style to your wardrobe in Miami because it’s so hot. A lightweight blazer can do the trick, but most guys go out in button downs or V-necks to avoid overheating. If you’re used to layering heavily for stylistic purposes, you may want to work on your frame in the weight room and simplify things before you head to Miami.
My Time In Miami
While I’ve enjoyed Miami, I’m not sure it’s a place I plan on spending much more time once I leave. The city has it’s benefits (like the foreign girls in Miami), but I don’t think it’s a place for me long term. However, I did enjoy my time in this heathenistic hell known as Miami. In just a little over a month since I’ve been in Miami, I copulated with 10 girls and got hummers from a few others. This includes grabbing four new flags. Quality wise, I’ve had some stunners and I’ve slummed it. Overall, I’ve been please – especially with all the foreign girls in Miami.
My Foreign Girls In Miami (not all foreign)
Bat-Shit Crazy Salvadorian
We met at a house party and I thought I could get the bang in the bathroom that night, but my plan was foiled. We met up the next night and sex happened. It was marginal, but she seemed to love it. Her face was quite pretty and her ass quite firm, but she was carrying the 8-10 extra pounds around the middle that many a Latina does. While she was a nice girl, she turned out to be bat-shit crazy down the road.
She Slept With Her Professor
She was a Jewish chick off Tinder. We met for drinks and she passed the boner test. Tight, little body and a cute smile – nothing special. As we talked, she told me about her bi-sexuality and her brief rendezvous with a professor at the university. I thought it was in the bag at that point and I was right. No resistance whatsoever.
Exotic, But Psychotic
I found her on Craigslist just for shits and giggles. We had a drink and then came back to the crib for sex. Her body was pretty fucking sexy for a gal in her mid-30’s – big fake tits complemented a fat, but firm ass. Plus, her face was pretty cute. Half Puerto Rican, half Lebanese – she was quite the exotic mix. The sex was great, but she proved to be crazy down the road as well.
Slumming It – BIG Time
I’ve never had a girl whom I found so unappealing in clothing, yet so attractive bent over. Her ass was otherworldly when behind her, but she wasn’t something to be proud of. She came straight to the crib off Tinder. Slight disappointment ran through my veins as I opened the door and caught my first glimpse of her. I contemplated telling her to turn around, but she was here and willing. Luckily, I didn’t. Her ass looked strikingly similar to this:
One glass of wine was downed and I went caveman, mainly because I wanted her to leave as soon as possible. We started fucking and I quickly got her into doggy for the rabbit fuck. My jaw dropped. Her ass was fucking huge and looked like a porn star’s ass. Suffice to say, that’s the ugliest girl I ever went round two with.
Her vibe was great and she was really cute. Her body was thin and surprisingly perky. Back home, she would have been an “8” and something I kept around for a while. In Miami, she just gets overlooked due to not having that ass. Meeting off Tinder for drinks, I ran the typical date game and had her back to the crib to seal the deal in a few hours. She was fun to talk to and had great tales of teaching English to underprivileged children in south Florida
Those Can’t Be Real
Looking at her pictures on Tinder, I thought her tits where fake. They just looked incredible. We grabbed drinks and the vibe was sexual from the start. So I asked about the boobs and she claimed they were real. I told her that was a lie and would need further proof. We went back to my place for investigation shortly thereafter. She had some of the best natural tits I’ve seen. She was an exotic one as well – something like half German with some Cuban and Jamaican as well.
I Do It For the Flag
Another slumming it bang – she came straight to the crib off Tinder around midnight one evening. She was Mexican and posted a gym “moment” on Tinder earlier that day. She clearly wanted some pipe. Ten minutes of chatter without alcohol and my cock was down her throat. The sex was marginal as I was hurting her, but I got the Mexican flag. Go team!
South Beach Scummy
While staying on South Beach one night, I went out with a few of my best friends and Dagonet. Heavy drinking pre-game was followed by a night at one of South Beach’s bigger clubs. Tourist heavy from the start – I spotted a girl standing alone as I walked in. One approach and I left with her a few hours later. She turned out to be German and in need of a piping due to the whole ovulation thing. Her face was pretty cute, but nothing too special. However, her body was pretty great. Nice and tight with beautifully perky titties. German flag acquired.
Long Term Investment
A night out with an old friend in the Ft. Lauderdale area produced a make out and number from a cute chick. Texting over a round three weeks, she eventually came to see me one afternoon. Straight to the room – we were naked a few minutes later. She was a really cool chick, but the sex wasn’t anything too special. Her parents where from Portugal, but she was born in the states. So sadly, no flag ;(
My Brazilian Bunda
She was one of the top ten women I’ve slept with in my life. Winging a friend on a double date, which was basically a blind date for me – I wasn’t expecting much. She looked cute when I met her and she wasn’t fat. Her accent was nice too. The night progressed and we began to dance. My hand moved over her ass and my boner began to move. I was pleasantly surprised as she had been concealing it with a conservative dress. It was surprisingly big and bouncy.
We kissed and it was back to the crib a few moments later. In the room, she almost immediately began to undress. My jaw dropped as my boner began to rise. Her tits were fake, huge and almost perfect. Again, I had no idea because of her conservative dress, but I was thrilled. She looked better naked than most of the Brazilian porn stars I’ve jerked off to. She looked pretty similar to this:
I gave her my “A” game between the sheets. She kept me at full strength until she couldn’t take it any more during round three. Her accent as she came will be in my spank bank for a while – much sexier than the typical American girls gasping “oh my gods” pre-orgasm.
After making love with her, I was happy with my Brazilian flag. My boy, who has been making love with foreign girls in Miami for two years now, got his Brazilian flag that same evening.
How To Do Miami
If you want to come and make sweet love to foreign girls in Miami, I recommend staying on South Beach. Unless you’re going to be in Miami for three months or more, South Beach is your best bet for women and walkability. Staying in Brickell or Wynnwood could work as well, but I prefer South Beach.
If you’re a younger guy and have a short time in Miami, I highly recommend you stay at SoBe Hostel.
If you’re older or staying for at least a few weeks, I’d check Craigslist and Airbnb.com for monthly rentals.
Tinder is your best bet for online dating. South Beach, Brickell and Wynnwood all feature great nightlife.
Deeper thoughts on nightlife and online dating in Miami to follow.