This guest post about Japanese girls is by Francis Campbell.
Famed for its martial arts, unique history, fatalistic spiritualism, delicious cuisine and zany modern culture, Japan is perhaps Asia’s most significant exporter of culture. There is never a dull day in Japan. At times, it can feel like being in a parallel universe. Japan may be a country of workaholics and sexless married couples but, make no mistake, there’s a lot of fun to be had! The dating scene might initially seem different from other countries, but with a little patience, you will meet some Japanese girls.
What Are Japanese Girls Like?
Japanese women are known worldwide for their exotic looks. The classic Japanese beauty has pale skin with jet black hair, although there is a lot of variety in terms of looks.
Some girls like to tan and dye their hair blonde. Others dress like anime characters! Whatever flavor of Asian look rocks your boat, you can find it in Japan. Japanese girls are also fashionable and like to dress to the hilt every single day. But that’s not all. J-girls also bring a grace and femininity that is perhaps unmatched anywhere. Let’s briefly go over what makes J-girls so attractive:
Women From Japan are Beautiful
Among Asian women, there is little serious debate that the Japanese are the best lookers. They are uniformly slim with amazing skin and cute faces, but some have beautiful curvy bodies that just fight the asian stereotype. They also tend to have bigger eyes than other East Asians.
Whether you are riding around on Tokyo’s Yamanote line or browsing the trendy fashion stores in Shibuya, the talent is outstanding wherever you go. It’s certainly true that high-end Koreans, Thais or Chinese girls can be just as stunning, but the key difference is that Japan has a much higher quantity of 8s and 9s than any other Asian country. I’m also a sucker for girls that dress well and know how to put on their makeup well so that’s another +1 for Japanese women.
I know, I know. It sounds too good to be true doesn’t it? You have to see it to believe it!
They are cute
If we accept that Russian girls are the most glamorous and Brazilians the sexiest, then Japanese girls might be said to dominate the cuteness stakes. Their general demeanor is extremely feminine and cutesy. This makes sense given Japan is basically the country of cuteness. From Hello Kitty to adorable anime, Japan easily produces a bunch of cute things – including their women! The way they rock their headbands on their long, beautiful hair is what makes them so damn adorable.
You might be overwhelmed at first but, if you’re anything like me, it will grow on you with time. Japanese girls know how to be girls!
They look after themselves
For me, what sets Japanese women apart is the amount of time and effort they put into taking care of themselves. Whether it’s skincare, grooming, makeup or even general hygiene, they are always immaculately groomed. The reason for this is that girls in Japan act highly competitively towards each other.
Even when just out to buy some groceries, they are typically dressed in classy heels and a short skirt. It’s a world away from Crocs and muffin tops that you see int he US! While you might have to occasionally navigate The Bush (you’ll find out what I mean) at times, the good news is that Brazilian wax treatments and trimming are finally gaining some popularity. I can’t wait for that to become the norm!
They are open to dating foreigners
At times, outsiders get the wrong impression of Japan. For doing business, it might be true that the country is relatively closed and inscrutable to foreigners, but this definitely does not apply to the dating scene. There are tons of Japanese girls who are interested in dating Westerners. They really like white guys (lucky me) and will LOVE the opportunity go on a date with an American. Seriously, if you’re tall and white they will flock to you.
If this isn’t you don’t worry. Virtually every nationality has their niche in Tokyo. While being the stereotypical blonde, blue-eyed foreigner will get you a lot of play, there’s no need to stress if you don’t fit this mold. Whether you are Black, Hispanic or Asian, you will have your fans here! They aren’t the easiest type of girls to get, but if you’re sweet to them you always have a chance.
The Downside of Japanese Women
I could write a novel on the positive points of Japanese chicks, but they do have some negative attributes too. Let’s go over the main ones:
Japanese Women Lack Curves
If you are into voluptuous women, then Japan honestly might not be for you. Japanese girls are skinny. You can certainly find J-girls with fat asses or huge tits, but these types are rare and tend to get rapidly locked down by local Japanese men. You’ll never get too plump of a girl, but these rare occurrences are still too far and between.
They Are Passive
For all their strengths, women in Japan are very not proactive about dating. What do I mean by this? Well, let’s just say that when a Japanese girl in Tokyo sees a guy that she finds attractive, she might take a quick glimpse and then look away before he notices. Japanese girls are trained to be passive from an early age.
It follows that, in Japan, you have to be the man. If you wait for eye contact or smiles, then you could be waiting for a long time! The same goes for texting and setting up dates. Japanese women will wait for you to message them and (assuming interest) will simply go along with your suggestions for the date.
Once I got comfortable around Japanese women I started quickly asking them out and found a lot of success. As I started asking more girls out I ended up getting too many dates and having to cancel on some of them. Sorry for being that guy ladies!
They are indirect communicators
Another downside of Japanese girls is their communication style. Even when in a relationship with a Japanese girl, it’s hard to be completely sure what they are thinking. In Japan, a lot of things go unsaid. However, this doesn’t mean they don’t communicate at all – it’s just done very indirectly which makes sense given their passive nature.
For example, most J-girls would be far too polite to say that they didn’t like the food you chose. They will simply avoid saying the word oishii (delicious) or say it in a very muted tone. They also avoid open disagreement, preferring to save face.
Many couples break up without a single word exchanged. In this case, the lack of communication itself is the message. With time and practice on the ground, you will learn to read between the lines. Alternatively, you can choose to date the more westernized types who prefer to communicate more openly. Just be aware that these girls are often rejected by their own men and may harbor some negativity towards men in their country as a result.
I found it best to take advantage of this because they know how different I am. Japanese guys are pretty passive too so if you’re a little more aggressive and open with your communication you’ll do well in Japan
Their English sucks
The biggest disadvantage of dating Japanese girls is their lack of English proficiency. While many girls can read and write English sentences over SMS, they are horrible at speaking in person. Make sure to simplify your language and speak slowly.
At times, you might get the impression that a girl you approach isn’t interested, but it can occasionally be shyness due to her bad English. Could imagine trying to speak Japanese? In any interaction, always assume interest until proven otherwise.
You know they are passive and shy so you might as well make the move. Just like what Wayne Gretzky says, You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So grow a pair and just ask them out. You’ll get more yeses than you expect.
How to Meet Women in Japan
Japan Cupid is another incredibly effective way to meet girls in Japan. This site has been around for a long time and is more geared towards girls looking for longer-term relationships. That said, there’s still plenty of fun.
The girls tend to be a bit older than on Tinder, but don’t write them off just yet! The good news is that the Japanese age incredibly. Even a 35-year-old Japanese woman is going to look ten years younger by western standards – in fact if you don’t ask you may think she’s in her mid 20’s.
However, if you aren’t finding much luck on Japan Cupid then check out:
Tinder in Japan
Tinder is a solid way to meet Japanese girls in the major cities such as Tokyo or Osaka. One cool thing about Tinder is that the girls using it tend to have slightly better English than would be the case normally. This also acts as a filter of sorts – girls especially interested in dating Westerners tend to make more effort to learn English. Be warned though – you will need tight photo game in Japan. This is not Thailand or the Philippines!
Competition is high from both foreigners and local guys, so make sure that your profile is on point. If you’re the typical blonde hair blue eyes just make sure to make that stand out and you’ll get TONS of matches.
Another thing to note – don’t chat too much with Japanese girls before meeting up. They regard overly chatty guys as girly, so keep your messages simple and free of emoticons. After a bit of friendly back and forth, ask for her LINE (the go-to chatting app in Japan) and transition straight to logistics.
If she’s interested, she should agree to a meetup fairly quickly. Otherwise, you will be fobbed off with excuses or simply ignored. There are so many hot girls in Japan that there is zero need to pursue lukewarm leads. Just be fast to pitch a place or just leave her.
Day Game in Japan
If you have balls, then Japan could be your day game paradise. In Tokyo and Osaka, there are endless options on the streets, cafes, and shops. If you are in Tokyo, take a walk around Shibuya, Harajuku or Shinjuku. The talent in those places is never-ending. You could easily do a full day of street game! They love guys who will actually ask them out and talk to them so by doing so you’ll not only surprise them, but get a few easy dates.
English is an issue, but with enough sets, you should eventually find a girl who can speak to a decent level. It can be a little tough sometimes, but in the end it’s definitely worth it to meet some Japanese women. In any case, make sure to have Google translate handy.
Night Game in Japan
Night game is still the quickest way to get laid in Japan. The Hub is a chain of bars where more internationally minded girls can often be found. Be warned though, there is plenty of competition. Japanese guys now frequent these venues and approach aggressively. As for nightclubs, despite recent police crackdowns, there are still a lot to choose from in Tokyo and Osaka. The scene is in constant flux so it might be a good idea to ask other foreigners on the ground where the best place is to go.
Just don’t be too far away from home when it gets late at night. One evening I fell asleep at a girl’s apartment and had no idea where I was. It was too late to take the train so I had to walk 5 and a half miles just to get back. After 4 hours I was home — asking for directions was tough.
International parties sound a little lame, but they are a great way to get some easy pussy in Japan. Let’s get one thing straight – you are not going to be meeting models at these events. There are usually some decent Japanese women at these parties, but at least they tend to be pretty easy if you’re from the West.
Even better,the girls speak English, and they are practically guaranteed to be interested in foreigners. The official goal of these parties is to facilitate “international exchange”, but they are nicknamed “fluid exchanges” for a reason! Budget for $20-40 with food and unlimited alcohol. After a couple of drinks at these parties the girls get really touchy and easy.
Although they can be shy, like all girls Japanese girl can get pretty comfortable after a couple of drinks. Dance with them a little bit and give them a peck on the cheek and they’re yours at that point.
Dating Japanese Girls
So, you got an interested prospect and want to set up a date. How do you go about it?
You should always suggest meeting at the train station nearest to you. This is vital for a few reasons. Firstly, it significantly improves your logistics for the bang. Second, it’s a compliance test. If the girl is interested enough, she will come to meet you at your station (online dating is the exception as some girls may not be confident enough to go to a minor station without first knowing you better). And finally, it’s time-saving.
As we alluded to earlier, when dating in Japan, you need to be the man. Keep things simple and go straight to logistics. A typical conversation with a keen girl might be:
You: “Hi Yuki chan. How are you?”
Here: “I’m fine. And you? ^^”
You: “Good good. Let’s go drinking next time!”
Her: “OK sure! ^^”
You: “How about Wednesday or Thursday night next week?” (always give a choice of dates)
Her: “Either day is good for me.” (this is a reliable sign of interest)
You: “Cool. Meet me at Todaimae Station around 8 pm.”
Her: “OK. I’m looking forward to it.”
As a general rule the hotter the chick, the more BS obstacles she will bring to this texting sequence. The same goes for girls on the fence about you. If she asks “Where will we go?” or “What will we do?” then don’t engage her (she’s subconsciously looking for a reason to flake). Just tell her “Leave it to me. I got it.”
Or if you want to be more playful, tell her that “It’s a surprise.” The important thing here is to hold your frame and keep trying to get her agreement to a date without being too pushy or needy. If she is always bringing up reasons why she can’t meet, then it’s usually a subtle brush off – at least for now.
Remember what we said earlier? Japanese girls are indirect – they don’t say no. With this in mind, understanding the real meaning of the below phrases will save you a lot of time and pain:
- Maybe = No.
- I’m not sure = No.
- I’m busy this week = No. (If legitimately interested she will suggest another day)
- I don’t know my work schedule yet. I’ll let you know soon. = Maybe or No (but usually no).
When you take a step back, it’s not so difficult to understand what is being communicated. It might take some time, but eventually, you will become familiar with how things are done in Japan.
If you are getting mixed signals from any one chick then simply move on. There are too many hot girls in Japan to waste all your time on one. You can always ping her in a week or two. Mark my words – the truly keen ones will make it very easy to bang them!
As for the date itself, you should scout out some cool bars around the station where you are staying. Take her the cheapest one and break the ice over some drinks before venue changing to a slightly nicer bar afterwards. Dinner dates can get expensive and are not conducive to getting laid, so stick to drinks dates wherever possible.
Just bear in mind that most Japanese girls are weak drinkers, so don’t overdo it on the alcohol or you will be left with a total wreck on your hands! One more thing – if you are older than your date, then the expectation is that you are paying. After all, you invited her. Some professional or especially good-natured girls will offer to pay half but these are not the majority, and the more attractive types rarely take out their purse on a first date.
Understanding Japanese Women
Overall, I can honestly say that Japanese women are among the best in the world. They are skinny, beautiful and fashionable, but more than anything, it’s their personality traits that really shine through. J-girls are feminine, classy, domestic, non-confrontational and, most importantly, kind. I’ve had Japanese chicks show up for the first date with a surprise homemade bento box or dessert.
Don’t be surprised if you find yourself falling hard for one of these girls after just a few meetings. If you are going to Japan after dating in the West then the contrast will be stark – you might even feel like every girl is relationship material! However, first impressions can be misleading, especially in the Land of the Rising Sun. It’s, therefore, better to play the field at first and learn about how things work before entering into a more serious relationship.